photo by SAID KHATIB/AFP/Getty Images

In the heart of the fanous lie some precious memories of a Ramadan I spent in Egypt so long ago.  Over two decades ago, in fact.  I’m much older now, but consider that Ramadan of my childhood one of the best of my life.  The traditional lantern that is used to herald in a blessed month for Egyptians is especially useful when it comes to ensuring that Ramadan will be special for the children as well.  But why? 

This year, as a mother of children the same age I was during that memorable Ramadan, I find myself desperately looking for a fanous, thinking that it will be the item that can make it for them as well.  I can’t take them all to Egypt for the month, but I think that if I can re-connect with a fanous – no matter where in the world I am – I can connect them with a special Ramadan experience.  But why?

Alas, I cannot find a fanous in my local supermarket and so I find myself wondering why finding one is so important? 

I think that if I can unlock the reasons why, I’ll find the heart of the fanous, discover the secrets to making this Ramadan memorable for my children.

Finally, I think that I’ve realized that the fanous can be a symbol of heritage, the joy of a task completed, the sweetness of drawing closer to your Lord and Creator, and the satisfaction of knowing that you’re never too young to start growing.

Heritage

Everybody has a desire to know who they are and where they came from.  They need to feel a sense of “I am ‘so and so’ son or daughter of ‘so and so’ and this is what that means.”  Having a place for Ramadan in that sense of heritage can be a very powerful thing. 

In that memorable Ramadan in Egypt – the fanous hung in the doorway of my grandparent’s home.  Here were two elderly people who I didn’t really know much about except for the fact that they loved me.  I distinctly remember my grandfather holding one hand while I held the fanous in my other hand and we’d go and visit his friends after we broke our fast.  It was as if he was saying “this is my offspring” and I was feeling “this is my heritage.”

Providing a sense of heritage as Ramadan dawns is vital as we hope to instil in our children a sense of wonder, excitement and roots.  In lieu of a fanous, we can tell them stories of how our ancestors hailed in the month.  We can establish traditions with them that will make them feel like they are strong because they’re immersed in a legacy of Ramadan customs.

My Iranian friend Sara* remembers her childhood in Iran and how they used to sing a special song and break their fast on traditional cookies.  Living in the west now, she bakes a store of these cookies for Ramadan only and she’s taught her own young children the song. 
“They love it!” she declares happily.  

Another friend, Laila*, who recently embraced Islam, says that Christmas provided a special type of atmosphere in her house when she was younger.  Now that she has children of her own, she’d like to bring that feeling to them during Ramadan as well.  She lights up the house and has them pick fresh flowers from the garden every day.  “The visual traditions are creating pictures in their young minds and it’s my hope that this will tie a happy connection to Ramadan for them.”

I think she’s right.  So what stories will you tell your children?  What traditions will you establish with them? 

Joy in Completing a Task

My five year old daughter was finally able to reach the light switch that she had had trouble with for a long time.  She needed the light, but would always have to call on someone taller to get it for her.  Today, she was overjoyed that she had done it herself.

My daughter is too young to fast this Ramadan– but I’ll start to train her regardless.  I’m quite certain that in my memories of that special fanous Ramadan, it was the first year that I’d completed an entire day of fasting.  I’d worked at completing an entire day without food or drink.  I had such a sense of accomplishment – such joy in feeling like I was “big” enough to do it.

As parents, we’d do well to allow and teach our children the same.

Encourage them to fast, celebrate it.  Encourage them to stand in the taraweeh prayers, celebrate it.  Encourage them to do good deeds, to work hard to achieve something that will make them better.

And experience how they love it.  Notice the joy they feel when they break their fast. 

The fanous can represent a type of trophy, a lasting symbol of a job well done.

Narrated Abu Huraira:  Allah’s Apostle said, “Allah said, ‘All the deeds of Adam’s sons (people) are for them, except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it.’ Fasting is a shield or protection from the fire and from committing sins. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual relation with his wife and quarrelling, and if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, ‘I am fasting.’ By Him in Whose Hands my soul is’ The unpleasant smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. There are two pleasures for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; then he will be pleased because of his fasting.”  (Sahih Bukhari)

Sweetness of drawing closer to Allah SWT

And through the completion of a task well done, we allow our children to draw closer to Allah SWT.  We allow them to feel the mercy and love of Allah SWT.

Single mother Maymoona* likes to share the above hadith Qudsi with her own children.  And then ask them how much reward they think they’ll get for participating in the holy month.  Her four year old son estimates “he’ll get one hundred and ten” points from Allah, while her teenage daughter says that fasting really does make her feel more connected – like if she has an issue at school or with her friends – that she can turn to Allah and know that she’s doing this so that HE will be pleased with her.

And in the dark, it is the light of the fanous that might show the way.  It is in the light that we find what it means to be close to Allah SWT, to feel calm and serene.  At its best, fasting cleanses us in so many ways and purifies our actions and intentions. Demonstrating this to our children, showing them that they can draw closer to their creator can benefit them as well.

Knowing that you’re never too young to start growing (or too old for that matter)

As the years pass, some Ramadans can be better or more memorable than others – but its the intention to continually desire to make the upcoming Ramadan the best one ever that will serve us (and our children) best.  We need to make our intentions take the “cake”, or in this case, the fanous.  We have to live in this moment and realize that this moment or this Ramadan is the only one we can truly guarantee. 

Picture that young child walking with the fanous on a lit up Ramadan evening, the sense of belonging, the satisfaction of completion, and the security of feeling under the mercy of Allah SWT.  She doesn’t worry about the future or dwell on the past.  She’s happy, carefree, joyous.  She’s loving Ramadan – and whether she knows it or not, growing into what she needs to make Ramadan special for always.  In her heart, she’ll carry that fanous forever.

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first published on islamonline.net. 

*names have been changed