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“And, verily, Jonah was one of the Messengers. When he ran to the laden ship, he agreed to cast lots and he was among the losers, Then a big fish swallowed him and he had done an act worthy of blame. Had he not been of them who glorify Allah, he would have indeed remained inside its belly (the fish) till the Day of Resurrection. But We cast him forth on the naked shore while he was sick and We caused a plant of gourd to grow over him. And We sent him to a hundred thousand people or even more, and they believed; so We gave them enjoyment for a while. “(Ch 37:139-148 Quran).
In the story of Yonus (Jonah), peace be upon him, we are introduced to a prophet who failed. Undoubtedly, like other stories narrated by Allah SWT and people of understanding, there are nuances – layers and layers of take-aways that can touch us or move us in numerous ways, and this one is no exception. But it’s the failure we’re talking about today.
When Yonus is sent to the city of Nineveh, he feels like he has failed to convince them of their ignorance in taking idols as their diety and to instead worship the Oneness of their Creator. He feels like he doesn’t want to keep failing in his mission and so he abandons it. He runs away from what he is supposed to be doing, what he is born to do.
Of course, what he was born to do is clearly laid out for him and although we aren’t so fortunate to have this done for us – the pursuit of this knowledge can be very satisfying. But it’s the failure we’re talking about today.
And failure is a part of life. We’ll fail in our physics tests. We’ll fail in our diets. We’ll fail in our business ideas. We’ll fail to clean the house before unexpected guests knock at the door. We’ll fail. Over and over again. But the failure doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. It won’t be a bad thing if we can realize that:
a) it’s part of the process and
b) we are just a part of the process.
If every experience can teach us something, then an experience in which we fail has to be a professor emeritus.
Here are some ideas to help us fail forward and move forward after a failure descends upon us:
1. Admit Mistakes. Take the Blame. Read this article NOW
Many people are so concerned with being right that all their mental energy is consumed by stonewalling, bluffing, blaming and denying. Or failing. Over and over again. Don’t be one of these people.
2. Learn something new. Apply said something new.
In the midst of failure, it’s easy to make like one of those “stick their head in the mud” birds and wallow in our innocence – or ignorance. Still, if we mean to move on, we need to be strong, and we need to educate ourselves about why we failed and how we can learn not to fail next time. What new information will allow us to turn a negative experience into a positive one? What new information will give us a leg up – or a head’s up? No mud in the nose required.
3. Be willing to cut your losses.
If you’ve received the Black, White and Red Decision Book, you might have been inspired to quit “flip-flopping” ways. This step helps you cut the cord on things, projects, or pursuits that are draining your time and not really serving a purpose.
If you’ve previously made a decision that doesn’t serve your best interests (or those you care about) as you had previously intended, then harness your queen of Sheba courage to ”let go” and get on to better things.
It’s in our best interests to practice flexibility (another great “f” word) in creating minds and bodies that deal well with failure – even flourish (an even better “f” word) because of it. Over and over again.
Salam Alaykum sis,
Nice article mashallah… But you know.. You can admit the mistake and take the blame & also you can of course learn from these mistakes but the hard thing is the courage to cut the losses..(things, projects, or pursuits that are draining your time and not really serving a purpose)…You know inside that should not pursuits furthur & it’s wasting the time and the mind but you will still pursuits it! Why? From where the harness of the queen of sheba will come? the let go thing.. Especially if you have the personality of never let go.. It’s easy to say but hard to do….
Salam,
Thanks sister Heba for the nice Posts, may Allah give you the strength to continue your hard work.
For sister soso i would like to say that sister Heba solved it with the F word.. flexibility, it make sense that if something is wasting your time and no useful behind it to let it go… i think we should be strong to do it or else that mean that we did not learn from our mistakes.. right?
Inshallah Allah will help you.
Jazakum
walaikum assalam and thanks for the kind words
About letting something go, I think that we overanalyze and worry too much (maybe our natures) but if we determine that something needs to go, then the actual act doesn’t have to be too difficult.
I’ll give you an example – I had a friend as a teenager who wasn’t a great influence and my mother didn’t allow me to spend time with her and hated when she would call the house. It got so bad that my mother actually had our phone number changed. Now, for my part, even though I knew that I shouldn’t be hanging out with her, I felt sorry and apologetic – like I couldn’t tell her that I felt like our friendship should cease to be. I actually struggled with breaking it off for over a year.
So – the day when the phone number changed, she actually called the new number (she’d gotten it from another mutual friend) and my mother was fuming. That’s when I realized that it had to end. So – I told her straight up that I didn’t think she should call anymore and I told her why. And that was the end of that. Something I was dreading for over one year, something that I was avoiding, even running away from, done in just under 5 minutes – end of story. It’s the stories about how difficult a change can be that paralyze us – we just got to tell ourselves that it can be easy. InshaAllah.
Hope that helps
Salam,
Thanks sis for your advice, you end it up in just 5 min, i think i need more than 5 min to make it done!.. your example gave me the strength and inshallah allah will guide me to the best..
Thanks and don’t forget me of your doa’a
Asalaam u alaikum
Brilliantly written and very positive Love the encouragement … Oh a great news my uncle bought me the book online finally I will be holding Release your inner queen of sheba in june inshaAllah thats when the shipping is due… Just pray that Allah helps me in making the most of it inshaAllah Jazzakum Allah khayr for all your efforts
Asalaam u alaikum
Asalaam u alaikum
Just read about the incident of changing the number … I went through something similar and always thought that may be I could change my friend to be a better person and thought of my parents as the villians but she was a neighbour and once we shifted to our new hope it got hard to carry on the friendship now i see the wisdom in that and am very grateful to Allah for protecting us all alhumdulillah … but I feel guilty about not being a loyal friend… how does one deal with that ?
Salam Alekum,
I think you don’t need to change your friend to be a better person! Unless that friend is affecting you negatively & that friend instead of helping you move forward is slowing you down.. Which in this case in my opinion to give you friend advice, advice & advice so instead of the friend affecting you negatively you should affect the friend in a postive way.. That require patient & being strong.. After all if the friend is still the same & you feel that it’s affecting you in a bad way then withdraw the friend from your life but do it gradually & not to completely cut at once so you will not feel the guilt & also that you are treating in an Islamic manners.. But also it depends if that friend does nt care.. That case why you would care!!.. I hope if my issue is just a friendship thing, it would be much easier!!… May Allah guide us to right path & gave us the strength.. Ameen
Jazzakum Allah khayr Soso I think I did do what I could in under the circumstances then
Asalaam u alaikum
So true subhan’allah. Failure is not just a part of life, it is a learning step – what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger….or less weaker, depending on how you look at it lol
Whenever I’ve heard the word ‘fail’ during this past week I automatically think of this post… and it comes up a lot considering school’s coming to an end
!
Thanks for the interesting discussion Soosoo and Tayibah – always a great starting point when bettering our lives.
And you got it Obaidah – it’s all a matter of perspective. Have you read this one: http://iamsheba.com/?p=78
student, I’ll have to do one called “Pass with Flying Colors” then
All the best to you and to all!