Picture courtesy of borderfilms
Muna has been eagerly anticipating the winter break – ever since, like, September. Projects, essays, exams, waking up early, having to sleep late, struggling in the cold – it was all starting to take it’s toll. She’s yearned to enjoy a leisurely hearty brunch, instead of the coffee and greasy muffin that’s her usual fare between classes. For months she’s been dreaming about these weeks when she could kick back, and revel in the fact that she would have absolutely no responsibilities, nowhere to be, and nothing to do. She’d stay in her PJ’s all day, a steady stream of warm beverages, maybe an herbal facial mask to clear her pores and the aroma of vanilla scented candles all around. She’d put up her feet, free to vegetate in the bliss of free time.
Nice, yes?
So, where does the paradox come in?
As my mother might say – “there are 2 kinds of women in this world, those who are mothers, and those who are in training.” Certainly, Muna falls in the latter category. If you fall in the former category – you know that Muna’s winter break moments are a luxury you dream about, but fully realize you likely won’t get until either:
a) your children have empty nests or
b) you lay eyes on your castle in paradise ( May Allah SWT grant it to all of us 
)
)But that’s not where the paradox comes in.
Muna, mothers, and indeed women (maybe men too) everywhere, crave free time and a vacation to a tropical destination, but when it comes to be – when we find ourselves with that which we seek, we start getting antsy. We feel lazy, and dare I say it, empty.
So, Muna loved the Saturday after exams, and the Sunday was good, especially after the bubble soak. But by Monday, Muna had a strong desire to…start strategizing her new year resolutions.
And mothers can totally relate – when the father takes out the children and they have the whole house for themselves, the ability to relax, the chance to do nothing – but instead, within hours, they’re yearning to do something as well.
We get…well, bored. The time of nothingness, is something we anticipate, yes, but at the same time, something that we can’t embrace.
So what’s that about, you’re wondering?
Maybe it’s that we are ingrained to always be productive, that our activities need to be varied and our time has to be filled with value.
Maybe it’s that we don’t like the feeling of nothingness, because we want to avoid the thoughts or feelings that we just don’t want to deal with – grief, sadness, regret, anger.
Or, maybe it’s something else.
But, I think that no matter what it is – that you must take the time. It doesn’t have to be 2 weeks, no, that may be too much all at once. A daily focused 5 minutes (check out Protocol 7 in the book – available REALLY soon inshAllah:)) should do the trick. It will reconnect you with your best queen of Sheba self; it’ll become a time of authentic joy.
You need to take this time so that you aren’t:
Doing “everything” without accomplishing anything. ( Have you ever spent hours on facebook, or playing games on your cellphone during free times?)
Ignoring the thoughts that you need to face in order to make your life better and more pleasing to Allah SWT.
Finding the meaning in your free time allows you to really savor the breaks and prioritize for the future, so that you don’t regret any time lost.
For Muna, school was filling up her time. She loves it, yes, and completely believes her life is tied into it, and all her goals for the future depend on it. But the fact is, she has another 2 years to go before all is said and done. And the waiting around for that is starting to make her feel like she isn’t accomplishing anything that matters, that she’s wasting her time. “How many facial masks can you apply in two weeks?” she asks. So, she’s resolved to find a new outlet, something that will help her deal with an issue that’s been bothering her for years, in a way that will help others suffering from it as well. And, Muna has committed to taking a little bit of time each day to practice Protocol 7 (complete with the queen stance walk), so she’s always feeling as fulfilled as she does right now.
What will you find with your five minutes?
Subhan Allah, definately true. May Allah place barakah in our time…I can’t wait for the book insha Allah:)
I have to admit sister,I feel more sad on a holiday with nothing to do than on a day I get a bad grade. Do me a favor would you, please hurry up with the book the anticipation is killing me:)
I know eh! The anticipation is getting to me too
Btw, sister Heba…do you live in Toronto?
InshAllah – you won’t be disappointed. Honestly, I thought it’d be ready by now – my part was done awhile ago – but apparently there are all these formalities and editing and formatting and cover design and…yada, yada, yada. They told me that when all is said and done – this will have been one of the fastest books ever published, go figure
A couple of more weeks inshallah.
Bayan, I live close to Toronto – and if you look at the ‘I am Sheba’ live page – I’m going to be adding to it in a bit, just confirming some scheduling issues inshallah. Would LOVE to meet you and everybody else – real soon!
Barak Allah feekum.
Heba sister, this is a fabulous article because it is defining a concept we grapple with: Why do we feel down during a ‘vacation’?
As I was reading this it reminded me of an idea your brother Muhammad taught us. He once said, “Our minds are always asking the question ‘what am I going to do next’?” I find that interesting because we do ask that question, consiously or unconsiously. For that reason, “free” time can be uncomfortable because we are asking a question and our mind wants a FULFILLING answer but we’re doing filler activities or simply ignoring the question.
And sometimes when we’re in the solitude of the holiday break or night time, we hear our thoughts which can be a bit frightening if we haven’t listened to them and learnt the lesson they are trying to teach us.
I also adore the concept of dealing with a personal issue that your article alludes to. I think this is essential because in dealing with the issue and helping others who are suffering from the same, we add the pizazz in our life. It gives us a reason to wake up even when the temperature is -17, we have projects to do and the road is lined with dusty snow.
The day* I faced my problem, embarked on a path to master it and starting helping others with the same problem, I added the sparkle in my life. And for that I have only Allah to thank and of course my superb life coach amongst other marvelous people!
*It was July 25th, the day I joined DiscoverULife