Photo Courtesy of karlstad Igar
“Tell them (oh Muhammad): ‘My Servants who have committed excesses against themselves, do not be in despair in the mercy of Allah – surely, Allah forgives all sins. Verily Allah is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful’” [Surah az-Zumar 39:53]
“I’m so stupid, how could I gain all this weight back!”
“I’m such a loser, how can I allow myself to be abused in this manner over and over again!”
“Why do I keep crashing my car?” (Side note to my husband – I didn’t 
)
Ah, the drama. Maya alert!!!
So, we take all this emotionally wired, negative self-talk and allow it to totally make us doubt ourselves, to paralyze us into inaction – to unleash havoc on our lives, and did you ever hear the term: self-fulfilling prophecy?
When will we be done with it? When will we stop beating ourselves up to no avail? When will we come to our senses?
The problem is not that we gained some weight or crashed the car, the problem is that we use it as an excuse to excuse ourselves.
Here’s a new way of thinking about your “missteps” :
“Oops, I did it again – now, what do I need to learn from this so that I can grow?”
There’s an episode of a Canadian cartoon called “Timothy goes to School”, where two brothers in the class break something that doesn’t belong to them and their father teaches them the 3 steps of “sorry.”
1: Feel sorry about it
2: Say you are sorry
3: Do something to show you are sorry
In the story, the brothers had broken a toy of a classmate and their father had helped them to repair the toy and also make sets for all the other children to make, decorate and play with.
So, they did something wrong, they felt bad about it, but quickly took responsibility. Finally, they fixed their misstep by benefiting the entire class.
Ah, the things we can learn from preschoolers
Ah Mashallah good aricle. This is my problem! I keep beating myself up that I didn’t finish something or do something or missed something. Instead I need to feel sorry about it and then do something to show I am sorry. I think I know just what to do! Jazakallahu khayir Heba.
Sometimes I hide from the sorry and this helped me see that I have to take responsiblity and change things instead of pushing them asside. I have an important phone call to make. Thank you sister.
that poem video is really niceeeeee mashallah
wsalam
Yes, i love the poem too.
I am stuck on Protocol Three. I keep coming back here. Why? The think positive, or fake tell you make it, just doe snot work with me. I think negative thinking is hereditary. My mother is very negative, and I cant seem to shake it off either.
Things will be going good, and than bam! Down hill. I get stress depressed, and stop eating. I am tired of feeling tired. I am tired of all these negative thoughts weighing me down.
Im living without purpose
I am wasting my time
I will never accomplish my goals
I’m tired
I want to quit
I am not good enough
What’s the point?
I honestly can not think of times when these things are not true.
I remember you asked, what is the greatest goal you have accomplished. I said nothing. I cant think of anything. I would now say, becoming Muslim, alhumdulilah. If I did not have Allah and the Quran I do not know where I would be. All I have is my faith.
But I need something to get rid f these negative thoughts sister Heba. They are draining me. All I want to do , is the things I have set my mind to do. But for some reason or another, something gets in the way, and I think ok, Allah does not want this for me. But what does he want for me, and why is it not the time to do any of these things. I keep trying different things, one after the other, and none work out. I just want to STOP ! and do nothing. But sleep.
So, sleep.
Seriously, sometimes we tend to overthink or overanalyze – and sometimes, there is just too much on our plate.
Surrendering to the idea that you won’t be less of a queen of sheba if you take a few things off or give ‘em to someone else is OKAY. Move on to Protocol 4. It’s as easy as turning a page.
Sweet dreams sister
Salams,
Hello! I know i have not been writing, but I am back! I hope you still remember a teeny weeny bit about me.
And i took your advice of being a teacher. Alhamdulillah. it gives me so much satisfaction that i know i want to do more. I imagine some day, i will be able to wrtie a column too, then at the bottom of the article it states…
*Princess Noor, A graduate in bla bla bla, is a teacher, writer, and a coach in something that she is still figuring out. She spends her free time volunteering at abc. She is a mother of two and resides in lalaland.*
Haha. so fun to imagine. but i realise i simply admire the writers of articles, may i be one someday, Insya Allah. Ameen. And no, im not married yet. its all part of the imagination package.
I have not finished with the Queen of Sheba book but i stopped where i wanted.
If it doesn’t work for me at a point of time, i moved on. I find the walking like a model with a book on the head fun! Though i was not supposed to reach there yet, i just went ahead.
To the dear sister above,
Every time, you have a negative thought, pause and say Subhanallah. Someone taught me that and i am just sharing ya. Insya Allah, u will feel better.
Have faith that Allah will help u out of this. I was there before and it took me about 6 years but alhamdulillah, Allah answered my prayers. I believe u will and u can help urself too.
And if it makes u feel better, i still have those feelings of i am not good enough, i want to quit, and others. They never really go away. But i guess i’ll just have to deal with them.
so, u go girl!!!
=)
princess noor
welcome back princess noor
And I’m kinda liking your dream bio – and you know – write it and by the will of Allah SWT, it will be.
Write it. Live it. Be it and it will be you.
I’m talking in “the deeper meaning” here – but I know you all get it. Hope things are going well with you too, Oh so tired sister in Sac
LOL, i LOVE timothy goes school!!! lol , i saw that episode last week, pretty gd !! lol